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Boner Candidates for March 26, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: HE’S MY BEST FRIEND BECAUSE HE’S SO INTERESTING

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Image By jpellgen

A Washington State Patrol trooper says it’s by far the best carpool scam he’s seen, but it didn’t work. As KOMO-TV put it, “Troopers don’t always stop people in the HOV lanes, but when they do, they prefer ‘dos’ passengers.” A motorcycle trooper parked along Interstate 5 near Tacoma on Monday afternoon spotted a driver and a rather unusual “passenger” pass by him in the carpool lane. When the trooper stopped the car, he discovered the “passenger” was a cardboard cutout of the actor who portrays “The Most Interesting Man in the World” in Dos Equis beer ads. The driver’s response? “He’s my best friend.”

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Boner Candidate #2: HE LOVES TO TRAFFIC SURF

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Image By Marco Tersigni

A motorist who tied his pet cat to the hood of his vehicle was captured in a picture that has gone viral over social media. New Philadelphia resident Polly Vandall spotted a small brown and black cat sitting on the roof of a gold Buick driving on Broadway and Front St. on Sunday with an elderly couple inside. It appears the animal was on a leash that was tied to the front windshield.

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Boner Candidate #3: HE’S NOT HERE, HE’S THERE

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Image By Scott Beale

Shortly before dying of lung cancer in 2010, Bruce Abare requested that he be cremated and interred at Fountainhead Memorial Park, a cemetery the 51-year-old drove past every day while working as a postal carrier. “I like the openness back here. And the quietness back here,” said Abare’s longtime partner David Musgrove, who frequently visits the cemetery to look at Abare’s name etched on a nearby memorial wall. “It’s calm here. Sad, but calm.” Two years ago, Musgrove was at the home the couple once shared when the phone rang. The Caller ID indicated it was someone from the cemetery. “I answered the phone and they say, ‘Can I speak to Bruce Abare?’ And at first it was just jarring,” said Musgrove. “The very place he’s at is calling to ask for him? I thought it was some kind of joke.” After explaining to the telemarketer that Abare was no longer alive and had been laid to rest at their cemetery, Musgrove assumed his partner’s name would be removed from the company’s sales call list. But six months later, someone else from the Fountainhead Memorial Park called and asked to speak with the deceased, he said. “He’s there in your gardens,” Musgrove told the caller. “She said, ‘Oh my gosh!'” About six months later, according to Musgrove, another cemetery worker called and requested to speak with Abare.

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Feature Image By John Clarke

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