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Boner Candidates for Thursday, July 16, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: THE MAYOR WAS PLAGUED BY BLOOD SUCKERS

A man who served almost three decades as mayor of Pennsylvania’s capital city now faces wide-ranging corruption charges, including allegations he unlawfully used public money from various agencies to buy hundreds of artifacts for a planned Wild West museum and other historical attractions. Stephen Reed illicitly obtained artifacts and other memorabilia while serving as Harrisburg’s mayor between 1981 and early 2010, Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen announced Tuesday.

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Boner Candidate #2: UP PERISCOPE ON THE ICE CREAM HEIST

Police in Utah have scooped up two 16-year-old boys who stole tubs of ice cream from a truck while broadcasting their escapade live online, a blunder that led to their capture, authorities said. A resident in West Weber, about 40 miles north of Salt Lake City, called sheriff’s deputies late Sunday to report seeing the crime being streamed live on social media using Twitter’s Periscope app, police said.

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Boner Candidate #3: BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT LOOKS LIKE A MONKEY DOESN’T MAKE ME A RACIST

The mayor of a small city in Washington reportedly admitted that he called President Barack Obama “monkey man” and first lady Michelle Obama “gorilla face,” but says he will not resign over the racist comments.  “Gorilla face Michelle, can’t disagree with that,” Patrick Rushing, mayor of Airway Heights, reportedly wrote in a Facebook post. “The woman is not attractive except to monkey man Barack. Check out them ears. LOL.”  The comments led the city council to call for his resignation on Monday.

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