Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates for December 7, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: JERRY GOT A GUN

The president of Liberty University, a leading evangelical Christian college in Virginia, urged students to apply for concealed-weapons permits and said that if more people did so, then “we could end those Muslims.” The remarks on Friday came when the university president, Jerry Falwell Jr., took the stage at the college’s convocation, a mandatory event, after a speech by former Senator Jim DeMint. Addressing both the gun-control debate and the attacks in San Bernardino, Calif., that killed 14 people on Wednesday, Mr. Falwell suggested that the victims might have defended themselves if they had been armed.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2:  HER OWN CAR HAD HER ARRESTED

A Florida woman thought she got away from a hit-and-run, until her own car called the cops. Cathy Bernstein, 57, tried speeding off after hitting both a truck and a van near Northwest Prima Vista Boulevard, but her Ford cut her escape short, police said. The car’s 911 Assist system SYNC, gave details to police, including her location, and put Bernstein on the phone with a dispatch. The system automatically calls police if the car’s been involved in an accident that deploys a car’s airbag, according to Ford’s website.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: THE ICKY ICKY SHOE THIEF

A person has been stealing shoes from outside women’s homes, then returning them a few days later, in some cases with “biological evidence” inside, Henrico County police say. There have been at least four such incidents in the Monument Avenue corridor since September, according to police. Henrico police are asking women who were victims of similar crimes to come forward. A man targeted “all types of women’s shoes from athletic to sandals,” according to Henrico police spokesman Lt. C.J. Eley. He declined to specify what the “biological evidence” was, but he said it allowed police to infer that the crimes were of a sexual nature.

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