Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates November 18th, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: NOT ANOTHER DUI….TODAY

Pennsylvania State police said they arrested a woman for two different drunken-driving crashes in the same day.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: A TRUNK FULL OF DANGEROUS SOAP

Confused and/or corrupt police in central Pennsylvania have been sued in federal court for holding a man in jail for 29 days over homemade soap they thought was cocaine, reports The Morning Call.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: HE ATE ALL THE SALSA

A northeast Ohio woman accused of stabbing her boyfriend after yelling at him for eating all the salsa has pleaded guilty to reduced charges.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: THESE WERE PLEA BARGAINS

In a shocking statement of allegations filed Tuesday, the state Judicial Discipline and Disability Commission accused Cross County District Judge Joseph Boeckmann of giving preferential court treatment to “young Caucasian male litigants” that he had sexual relations with, and using their community service hours for work at his own home. The commission also accused Boeckmann of having child pornography on his computer.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: I’M SURE PEOPLE OF OTHER FAITHS WOULDN’T TAKE OFFENCE AT THAT

Republican presidential candidate John Kasich says he’d set up an agency with a “mandate” to promote what he calls “Judeo-Christian values” overseas to counter Islamist propaganda.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: VOTE FOR TRUMP BECAUSE HE CAN SEE THE FUTURE

Last night, Miss Cleo cosplay enthusiast Donald Trump told a crowd of supporters in Tennessee that he was able to predict terrorism in his 2000 book, The America We Deserve, because he “can feel it.” In explaining his otherworldly gift, Trump noted that he “can feel [terrorism] like a good location. I really believe I have an instinct for this kind of thing.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #7: I SAY THOSE CONCERT GOERS DESERVED TO DIE.

Christian Pastor Steven Anderson spent part of his sermon yesterday telling his congregation that, while he doesn’t condone the actions of the Paris attackers, the concertgoers at the Bataclan theater who were there to listen to the band Eagles of Death Metal sorta had it coming

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Boner Preview Candidate #8: ARE WE GETTING BACK TOGETHER OR NOT?

Meet Wendy Luper. The 45-year-old Florida woman was arrested Saturday evening following an bizarre series of events that began with a trip to a storage unit with her ex-husband (with whom Luper has recently reunited). According to cops, Luper and Michael Vaccaro–who were married for 12 years–drove together to retrieve some of his belongings from their storage unit in Bradenton.While parked in the rear of the facility, “Luper got undressed, and asked Vaccaro if he wanted to have sexual intercourse,” police reported. “Vaccaro agreed, and told Luper to lay down.”But Luper, a court filing notes, “did not want to have sexual intercourse in that position and stated no.” It is unclear where the pair was planning to tryst, or the position that was rejected by Luper.

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