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Boner Candidates for April 13, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: WHY DON’T WE ALL JUST GROW UP?

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Image By Julia Manzerova

A Vietnam War veteran in Utah says he’s surprised over the reason for the denial of his request for a personalized license plate commemorating the year he was wounded and awarded a Purple Heart. Arnold Breitenbach of St. George applied for a license plate with the letters CIB-69, representing the Combat Infantryman’s Badge he received and the year he was awarded the Purple Heart. The Spectrum newspaper of St. George reports the Utah Division of Motor Vehicles denied his request, citing state regulations prohibiting the use of the number 69 because of its sexual connotations. Breitenbach, who served as gunner on an armored Army personnel carrier, says he doesn’t think everyone has such a dirty mind that they would be offended. But he lost an appeal in January.

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Boner Candidate #2: I WANTED HIM TO HAVE A GOOD LOOK AT THE CHEETAHS

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Image By David Freeman

A woman was dangling her 2-year-old son over a railing at the Cleveland zoo when he fell about 10 feet into a cheetah exhibit, zoo officials said. The toddler’s parents jumped in and pulled him to safety Saturday afternoon. He was treated at a hospital for a few bumps and bruises, said Cleveland Fire Department spokesman Larry Gray. The cheetahs didn’t go toward the boy or his parents, said Chris Kuhar, executive director of Cleveland Metroparks Zoo. Several eyewitnesses saw the woman holding the child over the railing, Kuhar said in a statement. “While this incident is disturbing to everyone, we are glad injuries were not any more severe,” he said.

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Boner Candidate #3: I LEFT HIM THE BIBLE

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Image By Rody09

For more than four days, police say, a 21-year-old quadriplegic with cerebral palsy was left lying in the woods of Philadelphia’s Cobbs Creek Park with only a blanket and a Bible. The person responsible is the man’s mother, who on Sunday faced a host of charges after allegedly abandoning her son and catching a bus to Maryland to see her boyfriend, said Philadelphia police Lt. John Walker. Low temperatures reached the mid-30s during the week, and rain was reported in the area Wednesday and Thursday. The man is unable to communicate how he came to be in the park, but Walker told reporters that the man’s mother, whom he did not identify for CNN, left him there Monday morning. “Sometime at 11 a.m., the mother went to visit her boyfriend down in Maryland, over in Montgomery County, and we believe she placed the child into Cobbs Creeks Park,” Walker said at a news conference.

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Feature Image By Jeri Gloege

 


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