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Boner Candidates for April 28, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: YOU SHOULD ARREST JESUS. JESUS WAS THE ONE WHO MADE ME DO IT.

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Image By asboluv

Tito and Amanda Watts were arrested over the weekend for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people. The couple, who sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold and each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven — simply present the ticket at the pearly gates and you’re in.

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Boner Candidate #2: IT WAS A QUESTION ABOUT PUNCTUATION

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Image By Blondinrikard Fröberg

George Steele’s classroom behaviour cost him his job. A teacher who allegedly let students play knife games, and failed to supervise a student who set fire to a book in class has been barred from teaching. The food technology teacher was also accused of asking a student, “do you have your period” when she asked to use the bathroom. George Steele worked at Mill Park Secondary College for three terms in 2013 and was the subject of 49 formal complaints during that time. The litany of complaints was detailed in a decision handed down by the Victorian Institute of Teaching, who found that Mr Steele had engaged in misconduct and cancelled his registration as of March 11.

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Boner Candidate #3: OH, NO…DANGEROUS BOOK READING.

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Image By catnipstudio

Canadian officials are defending a school bus driver who told an 8-year-old student she could not read books on her daily bus ride. Hautes-Riviere School Board in Quebec Canada posted a lengthy defense on its Facebook page earlier this week. The statement, written in French, in part said that driver’s concern was to ensure the safety of the children on the bus. The statement says any object not contained inside a school bag including “a book, a toy or an electronic device” could injure a student if the bus stopped suddenly. “Nobody wants an accident due to a lack of vigilance,” said the statement in part. The other concern raised by district officials is that other students might standup while the bus is in motion to get a better look at the book which could lead to a dangerous situation if the driver had to make any sudden moves while on the road.

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Feature Image By Katie Walker


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