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Boner Candidates for February 23, 2015

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Boner Candidate #1: CRAP! THERE WAS A CAMERA IN THERE?

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Image By Mike Mozart

In a video released Tuesday, a California man who accused Oregon police of giving him two black eyes is shown to have beaten himself instead, The Register-Guard reports. After getting arrested in January on charges of stalking and first-degree sexual abuse, 33-year-old Aleksander Robin Tomaszewski filed an assault complaint against detectives, claiming they had been beaten him. Unfortunately for Tomaszewski, jail cameras told a different story.

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Boner Candidate #2: OH, I DIDN’T MENTION MY CONNECTION TO THE FOSSIL-FUEL INDUSTRIES. I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT

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Image By Mikael Miettinen

Wei-Hock “Willie” Soon, a favorite scientist of climate-change deniers for his theory attributing global warming to variations in the sun’s energy and not human activity, has accepted more than $1.2 million from the fossil-fuel industry in the last decade,the New York Times reports. He also failed to disclose that conflict of interest in most of his published papers. Soon’s corporate funding has been known for some time, but newly released documents, obtained by Greenpeace under the Freedom of Information Act, reveal just how close Soon is to the industry to which he lends his ostensibly objective support.

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Boner Candidate #3: I HIT A PATCH OF BLACK ICE

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Image By John Britt

A Sparta man tried to cover up a drunken driving crash Saturday morning by pouring water on the road to make it look like black ice caused it, police said. Brian J. Byers was arrested by police several hours after he allegedly drove a 2001 black BMW into a guard rail after blowing through a stop sign near the intersection of Woodport and Sawmill roads, police said. The friend that brought him back to the scene of the accident also was arrested on drunken driving charges, Sgt. Dennis Proctor said in a news release. After Byers crashed, he allegedly drove the damaged car back to his nearby home before returning to the scene in the friend’s car.

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Feature Image By Brett Tatman


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