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Boner Candidates for January 12 2016

Boner Candidate #1: I’M NOT RACIST. ROKER FILLED HIS PANTS AT THE WHITE HOUSE AND I WAS WORRIED FOR MY CAB

A New York City taxi driver who black NBC “Today” show weatherman Al Roker said passed him by in favor of picking up another fare for racial reasons has pleaded guilty to a service refusal violation and has been fined.

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Boner Candidate #2: YES. WE ARE THE SEX TOY BANDITS

A Bay City couple police say were engaged to be married at Walmart and then suspected of stealing some sex toys from a nearby business briefly launched an online campaign, hoping to cash in on their notoriety to fund their wedding.

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Boner Candidate #3: THIS IS SIMPLY AN OLD FASHIONED RASSLIN’ MATCH.

Residents of Whitesboro voted on Monday to keep the village’s seal, which, according to the village’s website, “depicts a friendly wrestling match that helped foster good relations between [village founder Hugh White] and the Indians.”

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