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Boner Candidates for September 16, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: CLOCK OR BOMB?

Ahmed Mohamed — who makes his own radios and repairs his own go-kart — hoped to impress his teachers when he brought a homemade clock to MacArthur High on Monday. Instead, the school phoned police about Ahmed’s circuit-stuffed pencil case. So the 14-year-old missed the student council meeting and took a trip in handcuffs to juvenile detention. His clock now sits in an evidence room. Police say they may yet charge him with making a hoax bomb — though they acknowledge he told everyone who would listen that it’s a clock. In the meantime, Ahmed’s been suspended, his father is upset and the Council on American-Islamic Relations is once again eyeing claims of Islamophobia in Irving.

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Boner Candidate #2: FOOT SNIFFER

Police say they’ve arrested a man several days after a complaint someone was spotted crawling under library tables and smelling a woman’s feet at a Florida International University. Miami-Dade police say 52-year-old Eddy Juan was arrested Tuesday and charged with violation of sexual offender registration, fleeing and eluding, reckless driving, aggravated assault and resisting without violence. FIU police had previously released a notice warning students that a man was spotted under a table at a campus library Aug. 29, along with a description and photo. Authorities say a man matching that description was spotted Tuesday on a scooter miles from the campus. Officers attempted a traffic stop, but say the man fled, eventually crashed and was arrested.

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Boner Candidate #3: THE MAYOR IS BUSY AND HAS TO MULTI-TASK

A Kentucky city’s number one may have been busy with number two. Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer — or someone tweeting on his behalf — sent out an image on Twitter last week, which was meant to highlight talks aimed at bringing Google Fiber high-speed broadband to the city.  Yet all most people seemed to notice was the image’s location, which definitely did not look like the mayor’s office. It appears the mayor was sitting on a throne of porcelain, as visible in the background of the photograph are the telltale tiles of a bathroom floor and the walls of a stall.  That, in turn, set off a tweetstorm.

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