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Boner Candidates for Tuesday, May 5 2015

Boner Candidate #1: WELL, THEY ARE LEARNING FIRST-HAND ABOUT CHLAMYDIA

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Image By Danny Howard 

If you attend Texas’ Crane High School, there’s about a one in fifteen chance that you have chlamydia right now. Fun, unrelated fact: you’ve also never been enrolled in a comprehensive sex-ed course. Weird! The parents of the students who should have known better than to do the sex stuff that no one ever explained to them received a letter alerting them to the school’s outbreak, which is currently affecting about seven percent of the school. A school which, according to its current student handbook, “does not offer a curriculum in human sexuality.”

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Boner Candidate #2: FEDERAL MONEY IS EVIL

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Image By woodleywonderworks

In the most Republican County in the most Republican State in the nation,” Bryce Huefner, school board member said, “we need to start somewhere by turning down federal money. We are the most conservative county and we should be able to take care of ourselves.” Huefner made this statement in a plea to turn down federal funds for our local schools, as the school board discussed the approval of a Title I school-wide plan.

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Boner Candidate #3: MAYBE IT’S NOT THE JOB FOR YOU

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Image By Evil Erin

If you needed a reminder about watching what you post on social media, here’s yet another cautionary tale. According to reports this week, a woman in Texas was fired from a daycare center because of an all-too-candid Facebook post. “I start my new job today,” Kaitlyn Walls, a 27-year-old single mom, wrote on Facebook last week about a new gig working at a child care center, per Jezebel. “But I absolutely hate working at day care […] Lol, it’s all good, I just really hate being around a lot of kids.”

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Feature Image By thisisbossi


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