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Boner Candidates for January 28, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: SOMETIMES THE ELVES MIX THINGS UP

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Image By Erin Keller

Ireland’s state-owned postal carrier, An Post, has apologized after one 3-year-old’s letter to Santa Claus was returned to her home last week, nearly a month after Christmas. The girl’s father, Alan Campbell, told RTE radio on Monday that the returned letter was marked “insufficient address.” The letter, addressed the girl’s mother and mailed along with “Dear Santa” notes from her two siblings, was marked “Santa Claus, Santa’s Grotto, Lapland, The North Pole.”  However, he said, while his daughter was “upset” upon spotting the returned letter, “she’d been to see Santa already so Santa knew exactly what she wanted.” The family had a “fantastic” Christmas, he added; “no damage done.” Campbell consoled his daughter by telling her that “sometimes the elves get things mixed up.”

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Boner Candidate #2: WELL, IT’S TOO BAD

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Image By David Fulmer

A 22-year-old Mineral Wells man is behind bars after allegedly posting on his Facebook page that he had more than a dozen warrants out for his arrest. “So, I have 16 warrants out right now. Lol they know where I’m at tho so, it must not be TOO bad,” Eddie Smith’s Facebook page read on Jan. 20. That same day, a concerned citizen sent a Facebook message to the Mineral Wells Police Officers Association. Sure enough, investigators looked into the claim and found Smith was wanted on 14 city warrants, according to detective Nick Wells.

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Boner Candidate #3: THESE LATTES ARE SO TEMPTINGLY DELICIOUS

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Image By Justin Daoust

Pastor James David Manning of ATLAH World Missionary Church in New York City says he is only controversial because he speaks the truth. The eccentric pastor has made national headlines for a number of outrageous claims, including his belief that gay people are secretly adding human semen to coffee at Starbucks. In a recent interview with Cenk Uygur and Ana Kasparian of The Young Turks, Manning refused to back down.

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Feature Image By nate bolt

 


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