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Boner Preview Candidates for January 4, 2016

Boner Preview Candidate #1: PUT ME IN JAIL. IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THIS

A 21-year-old farm worker from Wisconsin who was caught having sex with a female donkey is headed to jail — after asking a judge to revoke his more lenient initial sentence.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: I’M GETTIN THE DRUGS OUTTA MY BUTT

An Albuquerque man was caught in the act trying to carjack two women at an Albuquerque Walgreens, but what police find him doing after he’s arrested may be more shocking.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: IT’S JUST ME, CRAZY FACE TATTOO

He should have kept the mask on his face.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: IS THERE REALLY A LOT OF MONEY IN A COMDOM MACHINE?

A man died on Christmas Day in Germany after he was hit in the head by a flying piece of metal from a condom machine that he and two accomplices blew up in an apparent robbery attempt, police said on Monday.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: MY ROLLING WALMART BUFFET

A woman in Florida was arrested for riding a cart in a Walmart while eating chicken and drinking wine, according to local media reports on Sunday.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: THE FLAMING BUFFALO BILL

He sure taught that table a lesson.

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