Boner Preview Candidate #1: BRING BACK SLAVERY
A conservative radio talk show host in Iowa wants to turn undocumented immigrants into “property of the state” and forced into labor. “Put up a sign that says at the end of 60 days, if you are not here with our permission, can’t prove your legal status, you become property of the state,” Jan Mickelson said during his show on Monday. “And then we start to extort or exploit or indenture your labor.”
Boner Preview Candidate #2: BOOZE AND GUNS
Another round of shots, good sir! Commissioners in Daytona Beach, Florida, approved a measure Wednesday that will allow the opening of a 12-lane gun range connected to a booze-filled restaurant. Commissioners were “leery” at first, because alcohol and guns don’t mix, but they came around to the idea, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal.
Boner Preview Candidate #3: TRYING TO GET MARRIED IN TEXAS
When the Supreme Court ruled in favor of gay marriage, Jim Cato and his partner of 27 years were “ecstatic.” But their euphoria was curtailed three days later when they called their county clerk’s office in pursuit of a marriage license, Cato recounted to HuffPost Live on Thursday.
Boner Preview Candidate #4: TRUMP IS RIGHT
Two Boston brothers busted for beating up and urinating on a 58-year-old homeless Hispanic man said they were partly inspired by Donald Trump’s comments on illegal immigrants. When asked why they did it, one of the brothers told cops, “Donald Trump was right, all these illegals need to be deported,” the Boston Globe reported.
Boner Preview Candidate #5: IT IS SO HARD TO BE WHITE
The Black Lives Matter movement, which grew from repeated instances of unarmed black men being killed by white police officers, excludes white people and puts them in an “impossible situation,” white Fox News hosts bemoaned on Thursday’s episode of “The Five.”
Boner Preview Candidate #6: WE PUT IT IN THE SAFE FOR SAFE KEEPING
Police are searching for an American family whose infant ended up locked in a hotel safe in Niagara Falls, Ont. The Niagara Regional Police Service said in a news release that the family, from the New York City borough of Brooklyn, was staying at the Howard Johnson Hotel by the Falls in Niagara Falls.
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