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Celebutard Stories for November 17, 2014

1. Jose Canseco’s Gross-Smelling Finger Fell Off

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Photo Courtesy of Mingle MediaTVNetwork

When I sit down to play poker—or do anything really—a lot of things cross my mind, but none of those things is whether or not my finger is about to fall off. I implicitly trust that all ten of my fingers will stay where they have been for my 26 years on this planet. Alas, this is something that Jose Canseco needs to worry about, who has to be careful that when he excitedly yells “all in!” and throws his chips in the middle of the table that he doesn’t add a finger to the post.

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2. ‘The Osbournes’ returning to VH1

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Photo Courtesy of Sami Siilin

Fresh on the heels of Lisa Kudrow’s return in “The Comeback” and Fox’s reboot of “24” — after nine and four years, respectively — comes word that VH1 will revive “The Osbournes,” which was a big hit for MTV back in the days of dial-up Web service.

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3. Is Someone Trying to Kill Bono?

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Photo Courtesy of Timothy Schenck

Just days after Bono narrowly escaped death in a malfunctioning private jet comes the news that Bono has been involved in a somewhat serious bicycle accident. Which begs the question, is this all a coincidence, or could Bono be in real danger?

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4. Champagne brands refused to sponsor Kim’s butt

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Photo Courtesy of miamifilms

Not one brand of Champagne wanted to go anywhere near Kim Kardashian’s naked body, famously on display in Paper magazine’s winter issue.

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5. Khloe addresses Kim’s cover: ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it’

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Photo Courtesy of CelebrityFashion

Khloe Kardashian stands by her big sister’s decision to pose nude for Paper Magazine. “You know what? If you’ve got it, flaunt it,” Kardashian told E! News on Friday. “I think Kim has an amazing body, she looks incredible. To each their own.”

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6. Amanda Bynes: “I’m Gonna Murder My Family”

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Photo Courtesy of abdus.salam

The recordings were taken last week by Bynes’ West Hollywood roommates, and TMZ claims members of her family “wanted [them] to post the audio” because it “could be a wake-up call for medical professionals to intervene and get her help.”

7. Amanda Bynes and Paris Hilton feud at LA night club

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Photo Courtesy of Justin_pets

A witness tells us, “Amanda tried to sit at Paris and Brandon’s table, and they were not happy about it. There was a scene, and words exchanged, before they kicked her out of their area.”

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8. Even Bethenny Frankel can’t believe how rich she is

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Photo Courtesy of riot army

 

Bethenny Frankel just can’t get over how much dough she has.

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Featured Image Courtesy of Jeff Plum

 

 

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