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Boner Candidates for February 25, 2015

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Boner Candidate #1: PUT ON THE SHAMING SHIRT AND GET TO SCHOOL

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Image By Robert Hruzek

A Florida mom’s alleged attempt to shame her child into earning better grades in school led to her own shameful arrest for child abuse. Melany Joyce Alexander, 30, is accused of beating her middle school daughter with a metal-studded belt before sending her to school with a T-shirt flaunting the child’s failing grades, WFTS reported. The handwritten tee shamed the child for earning Fs in all of her classes and further warned her friends — and any prospective boyfriends — to “back off before I get another good woopin like I got last night.”

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Boner Candidate #2: KNOCK OFF THE BOY KISSING AND KILL SOME ZOMBIES

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Image By nathanmac87

Last night saw the introduction of the characters Aaron and his partner Eric on The Walking Dead, and as soon as they shared a kiss, half of the fans went berserk and tweeted disgust about the inclusion of a gay couple. Never mind that Tara, a lesbian, has been a part of the cast since season 4, but when it came to two men kissing, that was the final straw for some. Longtime readers of the comics knew about Aaron’s sexual orientation for awhile now, but to some of the viewers watching last night, homosexuality alive and well during the zombie apocalypse was more upsetting than any of the gory deaths, child killing, or cannibalism that have been constantly present in the past five seasons.

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Boner Candidate #3: I JUST DON’T GET THIS BI-TRANS STUFF

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Image By Tavia Walker

Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore is staunchly against same-sex marriage. In an interview he recently had with Associated Press, he tried to describe how same-sex marriage would ruin the sanctity of marriage. However, he didn’t come off as overwhelmingly…intelligent? “You’re taking any definition of a family away. When two bisexuals or two transgendered marry, how large is that family? Can they marry two persons, one of the same sex and one of the opposite sex? Then, you’ve got a family of four or how many?”

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Feature Image By Caitlin Childs

 


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