Boner Candidate #1: I JUST LIKE PIGS
Image By Sam Michel
Larry William Henry really likes pigs — so much that he’s not allowed near them. When authorities found Henry drunk and naked in a hog barn near Millersville, Pennsylvania, on June 26, he told them point blank: “I just like pigs,” according to WPVI TV. Henry, 64, also told cops that he had finished a six-pack of, fittingly, Hamm’s beer during his pig party, according to Local21News.com.
Boner Candidate #2: IT’S YARD CLIPPINGS
Image By Rafael Castillo
When cops pulled over his SUV and located a large plastic bag filled with a pound’s worth of a “green leafy substance,” Jayson Curtiss scrambled to explain away the incriminating discovery. “I am a licensed dealer of that,” Curtiss first said. “It is for aroma therapy,” he then claimed. Finally, the 38-year-old Floridian floated a third explanation: “It’s my yard clippings,” he said.
Boner Candidate #3: A ROMANTIC EVENING WITH KANDAHAR THE FACELESS DEMON
Image By Anita Hart
A 23-year-old man has been fined by a German court after admitting he put drops of sedative into his girlfriend’s tea so he could continue playing computer games. The man from North Rhine-Westphalia told the district court in Castrop-Rauxel that he “only put four or five drops into her tea,” the Westdeutsche Allgemeine Zeitung reported. The boyfriend, who admitted to the charge of bodily harm, had been playing games on his console with a friend when his then-girlfriend arrived home at around 10pm on an evening in August 2014 after 10 hours at work. The 24-year-old woman found that she slept until midday the next day after drinking the drugged tea, telling the court: “Then I got up and drove to work although I was nodding off again and again.”
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