Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates for November 09 2015

Boner Candidate #1: WE GAVE HER SEVERAL MOTHER CHOICES

A South Holland woman said her dead mother’s remains might have been buried by the wrong family because of a mix-up at Leak and Sons Funeral Home. A South Holland woman said her dead mother’s remains might have been buried by the wrong family because of a mix-up at Leak and Sons Funeral Home. However Monique Williams said she still can’t be sure the South Side funeral home found her mother’s remains. Its staff allegedly presented her with multiple bodies as she prepared to honor her mother’s memory over the weekend. Ella Mae Rutledge’s funeral Saturday became a memorial service when her body couldn’t be found, Williams said. “As far as I’m concerned, I buried my mother (Saturday) when I had her memorial,” Williams said. “This is now her shell that will now be buried at a later date.”

Boner Candidate #2: BEWARE COMMON CORE HOMOSEXUAL, TRANSGENDER, ATHIEST TAKE OVER. YOU, KNOW…THE COMMON CORE.

An Alabama Board of Education member is drawing criticism for making a number of outlandish claims about the Common Core during a recent GOP luncheon. Betty Peters, the state school board member for District 2, in the southeast part of the state, spoke at a meeting of the Republican Women of Coffee County Oct. 21 during which she espoused views on the Common Core, “transgender values” and the “homosexualist” takeover of education in Southern states. Peters tore into the Common Core standards as an example of federal overreach and claimed the program allows “homosexualists” to influence schoolchildren, The Southeast Sun, a newspaper based in Enterprise, Alabama, reported this week. “I understand Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi are the three Southern states targeted by the radical, left, homosexualists to change our students’ perspective,” Peters said, according to the Sun. “We have gone past gay, lesbian and bisexual and we’re now into gender fluid spectrum.” “As I said when I first campaigned and I’ve said it every time since, we need to get back to the basics: Reading, writing and arithmetic from first grade on,” Peters continued. “We need to be teaching the ‘c’ part which is Christian values, not Muslim values, not transgender values. We need to be teaching the old Biblical values.”

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Boner Candidate #3: THEY’LL NEVER GET ME IN HERE.

Police say a Salt Lake City woman has been arrested after she ditched a stolen car in Payson and locked herself in the trunk of a second car. The Daily Herald reported Thursday that police say 32-year-old Laura Malone jumped out of a stolen, parked car Tuesday night and ran into traffic. Authorities say she tried to get into someone’s car, but the driver drove away. Police documents say she then stopped another car, jumped in the trunk and locked herself inside. The driver called police and they arrested her on suspicion of possession of a stolen car and possession of drug paraphernalia. No attorney was immediately listed for Malone in court records.

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