Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates for October 20 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: WE TEACH LITTLE VLADMIR TO BE REAL MAN

Two Romanian men were caught on camera trying to teach a toddler “what being a real man is all about” — making him smoke cigarettes and chug beer.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: IT WAS AN EXTRA CREDIT ASSIGNMENT

A professor at Tarleton State University in Stephenville, Texas, has resigned in the wake of a bizarre, gruesome report that accuses the now-former political science teacher of coercing students into aiding him with something called the “Sundance Ritual.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SMART TO BE AN ACTOR

As long as people believe that Donald Trump built himself up from nothing, does it really matter that he was in fact born rich?

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: MR. CRUM IS A CRUM AND THEN SOME

William Crum, the Texas driver who hit two motorcyclists as they tried to pass him in a no-pass zone and whose “I don’t care” statement afterward in went viral over the weekend, has been arrested and charged with two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: HE BIT HIM DOWN THERE YOUR HONOR….DOWN THERE.

The infamous testicle-biting cop is no longer a police officer.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: I’M NOT A COMMUNIST AND I’M NOT EVEN VIETNAMESE

Two large signs attacking mayoral candidate Ben Chin came down Monday amid a public outcry, but the landlord responsible for putting them up over the weekend didn’t apologize for their content, which was widely denounced as offensive and racist.

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