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Pre Boner Candidates August 18, 2015

Pre-Boner Candidate #1: THE BOY IS AN EXCELLENT DRIVER

Police say an upstate New York man had his 10-year-old drive his pickup truck while he was sitting in the passenger seat drunk.

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Pre-Boner Candidate #2: I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NUMBER ONE

The man accused of raping an underclassman at John Kerry’s alma mater allegedly told detectives it was all a misunderstanding tied to a annual tradition known as the “Senior Salute,” wherein seniors publicly competed to sleep with the most underclassmen throughout the school year.

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Pre-Boner Candidate #3: I WAS MAKING A DELIVERY

It’s not uncommon to hear about prisoners trying to break out of jail, but an Alabama woman was arrested after investigators say she tried to break in. Surveillance video shows Talisha McCann using bolt cutters to try and cut her way into the prison yard, according to authorities.

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Pre-Boner Candidate #4: George Zimmerman, the artist

The controversial gunslinger has unveiled his latest artwork — the Confederate battle flag — which he’s dedicated to the Florida Gun Supply owner who banned Muslims from his shooting range last month.

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Pre-Boner Candidate #5: BORN HERE? GET OUT ANYWAY

In the fall of 2010, Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa), one of the most hawkish anti-immigrant voices in Congress, launched a legislative campaign to end the scourge of “anchor babies,” as he called them.

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Pre Boner Candidate #6: PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE AMMUNITION

Praise the Lord . . . and pass the ammunition.

An Alabama church has opened a gun range behind its sanctuary as an extension of its fellowship, WIAT reports.

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Pre-Boner Candidate #7: HOORAY FOR HUMILIATION, RELIGION AND HAVING YOUR DAY IN COURT

A group that advocates the separation of church and state has filed a complaint about a Texas judge who ordered a man to marry his girlfriend as a condition of probation.

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