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Boner Candidates for May 11, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

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Image By Lisa Larsson

Police found an 8-year-old Ivorian boy hidden in a suitcase that was smuggled across the border into Spanish territory in northern Africa, an official said on Friday. A 19-year-old woman took the case through a pedestrian crossing from Morocco into the small Spanish-governed territory of Ceuta on Thursday, a spokesman for the Civil Guard police force said. “When they put the suitcase through the scanner, the operator noticed something strange, which seemed to be a person inside the case,” he told AFP. “When it was opened they found a minor, in a terrible state.” The boy said he was 8 years old and from Ivory Coast, according to the spokesman.

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Boner Candidate #2: SO, WHAT’S A DEAD COUSIN?

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Image By Tony Alter

A family facing a major tragedy is accusing the Katy ISD school district of making things worse. Christine Barr says the district is refusing to excuse her 12 year old son’s absence to attend his young cousin’s funeral. “We were told that the funeral would not be excused,” said Barr. “It would be unexcused unless it was a ‘nuclear’ family member or a grandparent.”

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Boner Candidate #3: SOME EXTRA PROTEIN FOR THE FAMILY

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Image By geldenkirchen

A Maryland woman was arrested on Wednesday after allegedly serving milk to family members contaminated with dead skin shavings from her feet, Southern Maryland News Net reports. According to court papers, 56-year-old Sarah P. Schrock had given her two victims milk around dinner time when one of them began to choke and “coughed up what looked like dead human skin.”

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