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Boner Candidates for Wednesday, May 6 2015

Boner Candidate #1: TOO DARN MUCH CUSSING

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Image By Jon-Eric Melsæter

Some Coeur d’Alene parents are taking on the American classics. A curriculum review committee in the northern Idaho city has recommended that the district remove John Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men” from high school classrooms. The school board will vote on the recommendation next month, reports the Spokesman-Review of Spokane, Washington.”The story is neither a quality story nor a page turner,” said review board member and parent Mary Jo Finney. Finney says the book is unsuitable for freshmen because it uses profanity like “bastard” and “God damn.” She counted 102 profanities in the novella’s 110 pages. “The teachers actually had the audacity to have students read these profanities out loud in class,” said Finney, who has objected to other books in the Coeur d’Alene School District curriculum in the past. “Of Mice and Men” is one of the most challenged books of the century, according to the American Library Association. But it’s also one of the best known works by the Nobel Prize- and Pulitzer Prize-winning author. “Nobody’s banning books or burning books,” said School Board Trustee Dave Eubanks, a non-voting member of the committee. “There was just too darn much cussing. It was on almost every single page of the novella.”

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Boner Candidate #2: SUING THE GAYS

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Image By Purple Sherbet Photography

An overachieving bigot in Nebraska reached an impressive new level of intolerance this week, filing a lawsuit against “Homosexuals”—as in all of them, everywhere—in a U.S. District Court on Friday, NBC News reports. In the handwritten petition, 66-year-old Sylvia Driskell claims to be acting as ambassador for the plaintiffs, “God, and His, Son, Jesus Christ.” Appropriately titled Driskell v. Homosexuals, it asks U.S. District Judge John M. Gerrard to rule whether homosexuality “is a sin, or not a sin.”

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Boner Candidate #3: WHEEL ON DOWN

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Image By Peter Burgess

“The Price Is Right” has had its fair share of embarrassing fails and incredibly lucky wins, but Tuesday’s episode was a bit different. Host Drew Carey welcomed Danielle R. Perez to the stage, a contestant using a wheelchair. Then, the announcer unveiled the prizes she was up to win: a treadmill and a sauna. Danielle reacted with excitement and shock saying, “Oh my God, these are really nice!” She ended up winning the prizes, and people immediately took to Twitter to say how awkward they felt the episode was.

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Feature Image By Jennifer C.


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