Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates for January 18 2016

Boner Candidate #1: IT’S TIME SOMEONE SUMMONED PAT…HIGHT TIME

Recently on “The 700 Club,” Pat Robertson fielded a question from a teenage viewer who wanted to know if it is a sin to listen to rock music. The televangelist said that while people shouldn’t try to completely avoid mainstream music, they should be wary of listening to songs that may contain violent, satanic lyrics and beats that could summon demonic beings. “It depends on what rock you’re listening to,” he said. “Some of the stuff is just evil. They used to talk about killing your parents. There were odes to Satan. You don’t want that stuff coming into your mind. In one Indian context, they were playing rock music and the person said, ‘Why are you calling on the demons?’ because that was the kind of music they used to summon demons.”

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Boner Candidate #2: THE MARTIN LUTHER KING FUN SHOOT

Robins Air Force Base in Georgia has taken down a flyer advertising a “Martin Luther King Jr. Fun Shoot” scheduled for the holiday honoring the slain civil rights leader. In a statement to Air Force Times, Robins apologized for the advertising tying the event to the holiday honoring King, who was shot by an assassin in Memphis in 1968. “We’re deeply sorry for any offense or harm caused by our insensitivity and failure to provide appropriate oversight of our marketing process,” Robins spokesman Roland Leach said in an email Thursday. “The flyer does not represent the values, opinions or views of the Department of Defense, the Air Force or Robins Air Force Base leadership and its employees.”

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Boner Candidate #3: I JUST DON’T LIKE BEING THAT CLOSE TO OLD PEOPLE

In early January, Sue Stenhouse, the executive director of the Cranston, Rhode Island Senior Enrichment Center, announced a new program for teens to shovel snow for seniors. It should have been as innocuous as city press events get. A service for the elderly! A teen-job generator! But Stenhouse evidently wasn’t comfortable with the optics going unadjusted. So she called in the aid of a senior center bus driver named David Roberts—not to introduce her or talk about their work, but to appear as an elderly woman sitting prominently beside Stenhouse throughout the event.

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