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Boner Candidates for April 23, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: YOU SAY TERRIFYING, I SAY LIFE SAVING

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Photo Courtesy of Maximillian

But she wasn’t shot: The gunman turned out to be the school district’s safety officer, conducting a surprise “active shooter” drill on a day when students were at home.

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Boner Candidate #2: A DADDY HAS A RIGHT TO SEE HIS BABY

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Photo Courtesy of Chris

A bill in Iowa that would have finally terminated parental rights for rapists who impregnate their victims has been blocked by a Republican. Because of course it was.

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Boner Candidate #3: THE WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

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Photo Courtesy of Betty

Just when we thought we’d heard it all, a Hungarian man injected his penis with petroleum jelly. He wanted it to appear larger. Instead, the organ became so swollen and the pain so intense that he stopped being able to have sex.

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Feature Image By Maximillian


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