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Boner Candidates for August 14th, 2015

Boner Candidate #1 ITS THE DOG YOU SHOULD ARREST; THE DOG I TELL YOU

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Image by Mark Turnauckas

A 33-year-old Sumter County motorist who allegedly struck an apartment complex blamed the accident on her dog and said it was the pooch that police should have arrested. According to Wildwood police, witnesses said the woman left after hitting the building, then entered her Huey Street apartment. Officers found Christina Anne Marie Lamoreaux of Wildwood, who admitted she was driving when her vehicle struck the building, but she blamed the crash on her dog.

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Boner Candidate #2 JUST FLIP THAT MATTRESS OVER

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Image by Alan Stanton

A group of African-American workers has filed a lawsuit against their former employer at the Days Inn hotel on Fletcher Avenue in Tampa claiming they faced discrimination and other hardships on the job. In one case, an employee said she was forced to flip over a mattress where a guest had died in preparation for the next guest to check in. The suit says that plaintiff, Charlena Williams, had previously filed a complaint with the Occupational Safety and Health Administration after she was forced to clean a hotel room where a body was found in July 2014. Williams claims in the suit that the hotel did not use proper health and safety measures to clean blood, vomit and other fluids from the room before booking new guests to stay there. Williams also said that instead of replacing the mattress where the body was found, she was instructed just to flip it over.

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Boner Candidate #3 AM I IMPAIRED? NO DOUBT.

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Image by Kim Lowton

A man who was speeding in reverse, had his zipper down and told St. Lucie County Sheriff’s deputies, “There is no doubt that I am impaired,” got locked up, an affidavit states. Deputies about 2:35 a.m. July 11 reported a man later identified as Steven Nichols, 64, pulled in the parking lot of an abandoned building at Naco Road and North U.S. 1 north of Fort Pierce. Nichols, driving a Nissan utility vehicle, revved the engine and started speeding in reverse, which is the opposite of forward. He nearly crashed into a concrete pillar.

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