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Boner Candidates for Friday, June 5, 2015

Boner Candidate #1 LET’S TAKE AWAY HER TITLE

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Image by Mike Mozart

A petition posted to change.org is asking the International Olympic Committee to take back the gold medal Caitlyn Jenner won in the decathlon at the 1976 Montreal Olympic Games. “We congratulate Ms. Jenner on these new developments and wish her the best,” the petition states. “However, this creates somewhat of a problem as Ms. Jenner (as talented as she is) claims that she has always believed herself to be truly female, and therefore, was in violation of committee rules regarding women competing in men’s sports and vice versa.”

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Boner Candidate #2 THE PAPER BOY IS DRUNK AGAIN

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Image by Valerie Everett

A woman who police say was driving with a blood-alcohol level about 3 ½ times over the legal limit was arrested after crashing her car into a tree while four unrestrained children were in the back.

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Boner Candidate #3 WE JUST GOT TIRED OF HIS CRAP

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Image by mister_scantastic

In Portland lives a man who jerks off in a port-a-potty, with the door open, regularly. This morning, a group of homeless people who live near the toilet decided they’d had enough and pushed the port-a-potty over, covering the masturbating exhibitionist with shit.

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