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Boner Candidates for March 5, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: I DID THIS FOR MY CONSTITUENTS

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Image by 660 News

Brad Johns, a Halifax-area councillor, has won a dubious prize from the Canadian Taxpayers Federation for using $25,000 in taxpayers’ money to buy a six-meter talking Christmas tree. Johns, who is the councillor for Middle and Upper Sackville, Beaver Bank, Lucasville, has won a Teddy — the prize the federation gives to public figures it feels are wasting taxpayers’ money. The money for the robotic tree, made by a California company, came out of a $94,000 discretionary fund councillors are given to buy things for their constituencies. “I wanted something that was unique for Sackville,” Johns said in December of the tree, which had moving eyes, eyebrows and mouth, with a voice that sounded like Johns’s. Aaron Wudrick, the federal director of the Canadian Taxpayers Federation, announced the awards at a ceremony in Ottawa on Wednesday. The award is a golden pig mascot — of Porky the Waster Hater.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHERE’S THEM BABIES

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Image by Peg

LAS VEGAS — Authorities say a Las Vegas hospital mistakenly sent two dead babies wrapped in linens to a laundry facility, leading to a grisly surprise for the cleaners. The remains were in a load of laundry that Spring Valley Hospital sent Tuesday to the medical laundry company Angelica in nearby Henderson. Henderson police spokeswoman Kathleen Richards says detectives determined it was an inadvertent mistake and it’s not considered suspicious. Hospital spokeswoman Gretchen Papez says a woman who suffered a miscarriage early in her pregnancy had arrived at the hospital by ambulance with the dead twins already wrapped in linens. Papez says hospital officials are trying to determine how the mistake occurred. She says officials have been in contact with the family after the remains were returned to the hospital.

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Boner Candidate #3: BEING GAY IS A CHOICE

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Image by Donkey Hotey

Ben Carson, a conservative politician known for speaking candidly but not at all delicately or even coherently, has a new bon mot for you: Prison makes people gay. Carson was on CNN’s New Day this morning, and when anchor Chris Cuomo asked the neurosurgeon if he thought being gay is a choice, he replied, “Absolutely.” He elaborated with a troubling example: Because a lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight — and when they come out, they’re gay. So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question. This is an interesting position for someone to take following the announcement that their exploratory committee will run for the 2016 Republican nomination.

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Feature Image by pee vee

 


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