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Boner Candidates for May 1, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: JUST THROW SOME GRAVY ON IT

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The Hawkins County School District in East Tennessee has reportedly launched a new district-wide meat inspection program after apparently serving six-year-old pork to their students. “It’s not clear,” WATE reports, “if it was tainted.” Michael Herrell, a parent and Hawkins County, Tenn. commissioner, alerted school district officials to the old meat after he was texted a photo of the six-year-old pork by a cafeteria worker last week, the Nashville Sun Times reports. He was also apparently told by a cook at Cherokee High School that “the meat was bad,” but that cook was allegedly “told by the manager to cover it with gravy to give it a better taste.”

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Boner Candidate #2: OH AND DON’T FORGET YOUR PANTS, EH

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Calgary police are reminding citizens not to set off fireworks (especially not near gas stations), not to walk around in public with open liquor, and not to forget their pants while celebrating when their beloved hockey team wins.

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Boner Candidate #3: I LOVE WHAT YOU GUYS HAVE DONE WITH THE PLACE

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Image By A.Davey

A ‘mean and despicable’ couple who decorated their flat with sentimental trinkets and tributes that were looted from graves have been banned from cemeteries indefinitely. Sean Jefferson, 45, and Elizabeth Jowitt, 37, covered their home in York with wreaths, lanterns, memorial slates and homemade toys, all of which were once placed on gravestones by grieving family members.

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Feature Image By GoToVan


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