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Man Pretends to Be Utah Jazz Draftee, People Buy It

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Connor Toole is a writer for Elite Daily humor. He is also tall. Almost 7 feet tall and has the feel of a young Mark Eaton. He decided for a day he could be more, so he put on suit and went to the draft. Not only did he manage to get on the floor with his stature, but he had a field day with the folks lingering outside of the draft. They offered him best wishes and good luck. They took photos with him.

After crashing the draft, Connor decided to take his show on the road and hit the town. donning a Utah Jazz cap he went bar hopping where people bought him drink, took more photos with him and showed him boobies. He put phone numbers into his phone. He made out with hot ladies. He high-fived the bros. Connor concluded that being an NBA player would be a great life, but he isn’t an NBA player. He is a writer and as Sean Connery’s character in “Finding Forrester” once said, “even bad writers get laid.” This guy is living the dream not matter what. We all aren’t this lucky, but there is a solution…

Tonight when you are out on the town don’t tell people you sell cheese or that you help people unlock their smartphones when they forget their password. Tell ’em you just sold your eyeliner brush startup for $10 million. Tell them you invented a new way to have sex that will not only change everything people thought they new out breeding, but Monsanto bought it from you with stock options for $3 billion. Who’s to say it couldn’t happen? Just because it hasn’t, don’t let that stop you. Put a Maserati sticker over your Hyundai logo on your car. Grab a sharpie and write “Kellog’s” over the “Kroger” logo on your Raisin Bran. Dream big.

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  • X96 is Utah's Original Alternative. It is self-aware. It is ingrained. It plays bands like Panic! at the Disco, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Cure, and Muse. It's part of a healthy diet and it's why native Utahns are so stout and stalwart. Listen and become part of it and it will become part of you.

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