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Boner Candidates for September 10, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: TOP NOTCH PARENTING

Police in Kenosha, Wisconsin, say a baby ended up in the ICU Monday after accidentally ingesting vodka. Police say it happened when the 1-month-old child’s mother filled a container with water. The baby’s father poured out the water and filled the container with vodka, police say. The vodka was then used by the mother to make the baby’s bottle, according to WITI. Police say the baby’s blood alcohol content was .294. The child ended up at a local hospital as a precaution. The child’s condition is unknown at this time.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHITEY’S GONE

Today in men handling rejection poorly: Dimitri Diatchenko skinned, cooked, and ate his ex-girlfriend’s pet rabbit, California prosecutors said, after she suggested that they stop living together. He also sent her pictures. The Associated Press reports that Diatchenko plead guilty on Friday to animal cruelty. According to Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office spokesperson Ricardo Santiago, it’s possible the pair lived together for several years after breaking up. The AP reports that Diatchenko, 46, has been ordered to perform 60 days of community labor and undergo 48 hours of animal cruelty counseling.

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Boner Candidate #3:  I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU ALL DON’T SEE THAT THIS IS PORNO

A mother from Knoxville, Tennessee, believes the New York Times bestseller The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks has too much graphic information for her 15-year-old son and should not have been assigned as summer reading.  “I consider the book pornographic,” Jackie Sims told WBIR-Knoxville. “There’s so many ways to say things without being graphic in nature, and that’s the problem I have with the book.”  The book, by science writer Rebecca Skloot, details the true story of a poor black tobacco farmer whose cervical cancer cells were taken without her knowledge in 1951. The cells, which scientists referred to as HeLa, went on to become a vital tool in medicine, helping to develop the polio vaccine, in vitro fertilization and other major scientific breakthroughs. The book was published in 2011 and has won numerous awards from medical and scientific organizations.  Despite the book’s success, Sims thinks it should be told in a “different way.”

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