ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: EW
As the coronavirus pandemic rages on, transportation officials around the world have been looking for ways to keep passengers and crew safe on board planes. On November 25, the Civil Aviation Administration of China (CAAC) released new guidelines for the country’s airline industry, which it oversees. The document, titled Technical Guidelines for Epidemic Prevention and Control for Airlines, Sixth Edition, contains advice about the best hygiene practices to carry out on aircraft and in airports. But one of those suggestions — that personnel like flight attendants wear disposable diapers so they don’t need to use the bathroom — has raised some eyebrows. A section on PPE advises cabin crew on flights to and from high-risk countries to wear “medical masks, double-layer disposable medical gloves, goggles, disposable hats, disposable protective clothing, and disposable shoe covers.” The next sentence reads: “It is recommended that cabin crew members wear disposable diapers and avoid using the lavatories barring special circumstances to avoid infection risks.”
Boner Candidate #2: ALSO EW
Derbyshire, ENGLAND — An Amazon delivery person reportedly got too close for comfort for one man in the U.K. Jonathan Doblips was perturbed by security camera footage he saw showing a delivery person breathing on his window and doodling an unintelligible message, reports Deadline News – a Scotland-based newspaper. The unidentified delivery person then leaves the package at Doblips’ doorstep before marching back to his nearby van. The incident, which appears to have happened recently at Doblips’ Ilkeston, Derbyshire home, was posted to Amazon.co.uk’s official Facebook page on Sunday. “Excuse me but what is this delivery driver doing on my window?” Doblips wrote alongside the accompanying security footage. Under the same Facebook post, Doblips shared he felt unsettled that the delivery person took a moment to peer into his window. He went on to call the behavior “highly inappropriate.” The e-commerce giant’s Amazon Help page quickly replied to Doblips’ inquiry with a statement that suggests the matter is being investigated. Although the delivery person is wearing a neon vest and face mask, it is not clear whether this is an Amazon employee or a third-party courier. The white van he entered does not appear to have clear logos for identification.
Boner Candidate #3: COMO SE DICE, ASSHAT?
Saying the country is too divided, Sen. Mike Lee blocked proposals to establish the National Museum of the American Latino and the American Women’s History Museum on Thursday. The bipartisan proposals sought to create the two museums under the umbrella of the Smithsonian Institution. Lee said the creation of separate museums would lead to a further division in America, and the two groups would better be represented in the already existing Museum of American History. “There is no us and them. There’s only us. My objection to the creation of a new series of museums based on group identity is not a matter of budgetary or legislative technicalities. It is a matter of national unity and cultural inclusion,” said Lee. “The last thing we need is to further divide an already divided nation within an array of separate but equal museums of hyphenated identity groups,” he added. In objecting, Lee said that establishing separate museums based on race or gender would exacerbate “cultural and identity balkanization” that has “turned college campuses into grievance pageants.”
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: TOILET VIRGINITY
Nadia from Sutherland Shire in Australia had hired a group of construction workers to do a bit of work on her home, but while they were at it, they ‘took the virginity’ of her brand new toilet, leaving her stunned. Although she’d organized for the workers to have access to an outdoor toilet, they decided to use the one she’d just had installed indoors. After discovering the evidence that they left behind in the bowl, she was forced to wash the toilet twice. Disgusted by the “criminal act” they’d committed, she wrote them a note before taping it to the lid. “Dear Tradesmen. The toilets in this house are NOT rightfully yours to use,” it read. “We are paying for an outdoor toilet for your use.” “Not only did you take the virginity of our toilets but you disrespectfully ignored the seal sign, ripped the tape and continued to use it. “This is the second time I am cleaning your s*** from this toilet. “This is a criminal act. Please don’t do it again”, reports Daily Mail. After sharing the note on Facebook, many people agreed with Nadia that the construction workers should have cleaned down the toilet after using it at least.
Boner Candidate #2: RAINING POOP
Cleveland, OH — A stinky situation has been addressed in downtown Cleveland. People in one part of the neighborhood were fed up with some apartment tenants sweeping animal waste off their high-rise balconies – so they called 19 News on Tuesday. We contacted the apartment management. They found the offender Wednesday and power-washed the sidewalk outside the Reserve Square apartments on the corner of 13th Street and Superior Avenue. 19 News caught someone on camera Tuesday in the Reserve Square apartment building sweeping what looked like urine off their balcony. Neighbors told us this had been happening for about a month now. “Raining poop,” neighbor Julius Robinson described. “Literally, and you could see it on the sidewalk.” Robinson lives nearby at Bohn Tower. For the past month, he says every time he walked to the grocery store, or he waits at the bus stop, he came across what appears to be dog waste littered all over the sidewalk. “Then one day I seen turds, and that’s when I knew somebody was sweeping feces off the balcony,” Robinson said. Robinson said he went in to talk to management, and nothing had been done, so he reached out to us.
Boner Candidate #3: SPORTS BUILD CHARACTER
Avideo of a youth football coach hitting a young player made waves on social media on Thursday with dozens of people calling for the firing of the coach. Among the many adults upset by the video was none other than LeBron James, who made it clear that he’d never stand for a grown man abusing his children, or any kids for that matter, on the field. “Ain’t no way!!! Couldn’t be my kid,” James wrote on a screenshot of the video shared on his Instagram Stories. “Hell, if I there and it’s not even my kid we gone have more than words for sure.” The incident in question involves Savannah youth league football coach Gerrell Williams hitting a child’s helmet during the 2020 American Youth Football National Championships AA Div 1-7U tournament, which features athletes age 7 and younger. As seen in the video, which was filmed in Florida on Monday, Williams’ initial hit was hard enough to knock the child off his balance, and within moments the coach hit the young boy a second time, knocking him to the ground.
