Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates for October 16 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: WE THOUGHT IT MIGHT STIMULATE BUYING

Customers shopping at a Target located in Campbell, California were shocked when audio from a porno began playing over the store’s loudspeakers.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: WE’RE KEEPING A REAL CLOSE EYE ON THIS GUY

Newly released federal court documents detail a disturbing case against an alleged sexual predator, who is accused of abducting, raping and impregnating a teen while he himself was supposed to be under constant supervision in connection with another abduction case.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO FREEDOM OF RELIGION MAN

Dale and Shannon Hickman don’t believe in doctors. Because of this religious conviction, set forth by the cult the couple belongs to, Oregon City’s Followers of Christ Church, the Hickmans let their premature infant die after being being born at home rather than seek medical help. As a result of this decision, the couple was convicted of manslaughter in 2011.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: I DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THESE HEAD WOUNDS

A 54-year-old Florida man was charged with DUI for allegedly driving erratically in his motorized wheelchair, PEOPLE confirms.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: I’M A CIA GUY HONEST I AM

A regular guest commentator on Fox News who has been lying for years about working for the Central Intelligence Agency was arrested on Thursday and is being charged in connection with falsely claiming he worked as an “Outside Paramilitary Special Operations Officer” for the CIA for nearly three decades.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: FOOTBALL IS VERY IMPORTANT IN TEXAS

The Sugar Land, Texas police department has detained a 16-year-old high school football player after he reportedly stabbed his father during an argument over attending his varsity team’s practice.

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